Struggling with a second language and eating squid and other foods new to me in another country have helped me grow as a person.

At Valencia marble benches, Sevilla, Spain

For example, presenting in Spanish when I barely speak Spanish was very nerve racking and hard. I don’t like it even in English, but facing that fear left me feeling capable of more afterwards. 

Also, hanging out in a group of Spanish kids is fun, but I’m not able to follow all of the conversation. Sometimes they laugh and I don’t know what it’s about. In America I was always worried I was being laughed at or judged, but after months of not knowing, I realized it doesn’t really matter. I can’t control it and I can’t let it control me. 

Burning of the Fallas, Valencia, Spain. Fallera Week is held annually from March 15th to 19th in Valencia. Throughout the city there are 400 Casal Faller, or comissió fallera, who work to build a construction throughout the year. The falla, seen in the photo, are burned during the final day of the celebration.

My interests and goals aren’t super precise right now other than to be happy, but I do know I feel happy when I include others. Being the odd one out has shown me how to do that, and how it feels to not be included. I think the best way to grow is to be uncomfortable and put yourself in unfamiliar situations. Studying abroad has forced me to do that every single day and for that I am grateful. I’m still far from where I want to be, but challenging myself mentally daily helps me get closer to that goal of happiness each day.

I’ve also grown in my language skills and perspective on building relationships. From the first day I came to Spain, my host mother took me in and treated me so well. She always spends dinner time with me asking about my day and plans for the future. At first it was difficult — because she only speaks Spanish, and I hadn’t taken Spanish since high school. So first we communicated with just a smile and the simple words I knew like “Gracias.” Now I have learned so much and we are able to have better conversations. 

Dinner with friends from Spanish classes

Every night she cooks an amazing traditional Spanish meal — which was another adjustment because the food is very different. Things like squid, blood sausage, and rice with sunny side up eggs were new to me, but I could either go hungry or accept what she made, and now I look forward to all the “different” meals. I learned that you don’t need to be able to talk, but instead have mutual respect to have a healthy relationship.